Today we're going to tackle one of our most frequently asked questions.
We're tired of seeing your emails flood in asking this questions, and don't want to feel a bit bad anymore when we have our KombuchaKleaner team mass delete all of our incoming mail.
So... let's get to it, shall we?
The answer is a resounding... YES.
We're tired of seeing your emails flood in asking this questions, and don't want to feel a bit bad anymore when we have our KombuchaKleaner team mass delete all of our incoming mail.
So... let's get to it, shall we?
The answer is a resounding... YES.
IMPORTANT!! READ THIS BEFORE YOU BEGIN!!! When you ready the funeral pyre, there are a few things to keep in mind.
FIRST, you'll need to locate a stone ship that you can build the funeral pyre upon, maintaining complete structural integrity.
SECOND, plant some of your grandmother's DNA in the absolute epicenter of the funeral pyre.
THIRD, drizzle the following solution on the pyre until you run out of it.
FOURTH, strike a match and take a big step back as you kick the funeral pyre out to sea.
SOLUTION INGREDIENTS:
1 Gallon Gasoline
1 Gallon Homemade-Organic Kombucha at PH of 6.5
Be sure to mix the solution ingredients well, or you could be in for a very different version of your grandmother when she comes back, IF she makes it. A poorly mixed solution could also result in your grandmother haunting you during your most intimate moments–for the rest of your life. This is hereditary and WILL pass on to any offspring you may have in the future.
How does it work?
The DNA obviously tells the universe who your grandma is (so make sure it's her DNA, and not someone else's, unless you want to bring them back with her. In that case, simply double the solution.)
The gasoline alone would kill your grandmother all over again, so be sure not to forget the kombucha!
On to our favorite part... the KOMBUCHA! This dynamic, culture-rich bliss beverage will get deeply into the DNA, with a little help from its friend (gasoline) once the fire gets blasting. Once it has successfully infiltrated the micro-atomic-DNA parts of your grandmother you used to find so much comfort in, an explosion will occur. And from its ashes will arise your sweet MawMaw. She will spend the next full year traveling the world to fulfill that dream she'd always had to see Europe but never could achieve. If she comes back to you after that year, then you guys probably had a good thing going and kudos!
Let's all celebrate her return with a nice cool glass of kombucha on the rocks (sans gasoline this time.)
To family!
FIRST, you'll need to locate a stone ship that you can build the funeral pyre upon, maintaining complete structural integrity.
SECOND, plant some of your grandmother's DNA in the absolute epicenter of the funeral pyre.
THIRD, drizzle the following solution on the pyre until you run out of it.
FOURTH, strike a match and take a big step back as you kick the funeral pyre out to sea.
SOLUTION INGREDIENTS:
1 Gallon Gasoline
1 Gallon Homemade-Organic Kombucha at PH of 6.5
Be sure to mix the solution ingredients well, or you could be in for a very different version of your grandmother when she comes back, IF she makes it. A poorly mixed solution could also result in your grandmother haunting you during your most intimate moments–for the rest of your life. This is hereditary and WILL pass on to any offspring you may have in the future.
How does it work?
The DNA obviously tells the universe who your grandma is (so make sure it's her DNA, and not someone else's, unless you want to bring them back with her. In that case, simply double the solution.)
The gasoline alone would kill your grandmother all over again, so be sure not to forget the kombucha!
On to our favorite part... the KOMBUCHA! This dynamic, culture-rich bliss beverage will get deeply into the DNA, with a little help from its friend (gasoline) once the fire gets blasting. Once it has successfully infiltrated the micro-atomic-DNA parts of your grandmother you used to find so much comfort in, an explosion will occur. And from its ashes will arise your sweet MawMaw. She will spend the next full year traveling the world to fulfill that dream she'd always had to see Europe but never could achieve. If she comes back to you after that year, then you guys probably had a good thing going and kudos!
Let's all celebrate her return with a nice cool glass of kombucha on the rocks (sans gasoline this time.)
To family!
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