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Kombucha
​Bitch

Put some bubbles on top, man!

5/26/2016

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The easiest thing you can do to really fuck up your kombucha brew is to not allow it to truly ferment in a way that will taste good to you and make you feel incredibly sick. 

WhAt YoU WaNt tO kNoW...

Less is More 
Don't take your kombucha on nature hikes with you. It's better left in a dark cabinet or on top of your fridge, with a cover over it that has rubber bands holding it in place to keep the flies out. Taking it on a hike will just invite chaos for the scoby to have to deal with. Please don't do it. 

Double Double Toil & Trouble
​
The second ferment will render a much more palatable drink for you, your SO and your adorable kids. Put some fruit in a hand basket, rummage that mix around with your good driving hand for a 30-45 seconds and then put it inside the mouth of your second-ferment kombucha jar. Let it sit for 3 days in a cool, dark place.

​When it comes to be harvest time, make your hubby open the jar. After all, his hands are more calloused than yours are and if the thing shatters, it's his AH on the line. 
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