Everybody tells little white lies, even the old, the rich and the people who know who David Icke is. But here's ONE way you can combat those disgraceful pockets of deception AND beat the summer heat.
1. Section your hair into 5 segments and pin all but one to the back of your reptilian skull where it connects to the grafted tissue. (Be careful if your hair is wicked thin or you have a sensitive scalp!)
2. Find a 1-inch barrel curling iron and turn it on while you let your kombucha starter kit sit in a cold, dark shelf out of sight.
3. Look at yourself in the mirror and squint your eyes just enough for about 10 minutes until you see David Icke in a youtube video.
4. Feel his words and ideas wrastle with your debatable intellect and curl the section of hair closest to your widow's peak. Let it drape it around a couple of your most agile, available fingers and hold it in a coil until it cools.
5. Listen to your inner compass and really feel what it's like to be told things by David Icke.
6. Swipe both of your eyelids with a little painters tape until you feel like it's probably good enough.
7. Pull the curled section taut and then let it drape in front of your eyes. Blur your vision until David Icke looks more like your dad's best friend, Bill.
8. Give Bill a call and see if he knows more about your dad than you do.
9. Curl all other 4 sections and then take a selfie for Bill. Hashtag it #forBill so he knows you are interested in an apprenticeship at his law firm.
10. Give your entire body a quick spray with Garnier's StayStrong Everest HairSpritz, for Men
11. Listen to your intuition and then just see if Bill can give you a ride.
1. Section your hair into 5 segments and pin all but one to the back of your reptilian skull where it connects to the grafted tissue. (Be careful if your hair is wicked thin or you have a sensitive scalp!)
2. Find a 1-inch barrel curling iron and turn it on while you let your kombucha starter kit sit in a cold, dark shelf out of sight.
3. Look at yourself in the mirror and squint your eyes just enough for about 10 minutes until you see David Icke in a youtube video.
4. Feel his words and ideas wrastle with your debatable intellect and curl the section of hair closest to your widow's peak. Let it drape it around a couple of your most agile, available fingers and hold it in a coil until it cools.
5. Listen to your inner compass and really feel what it's like to be told things by David Icke.
6. Swipe both of your eyelids with a little painters tape until you feel like it's probably good enough.
7. Pull the curled section taut and then let it drape in front of your eyes. Blur your vision until David Icke looks more like your dad's best friend, Bill.
8. Give Bill a call and see if he knows more about your dad than you do.
9. Curl all other 4 sections and then take a selfie for Bill. Hashtag it #forBill so he knows you are interested in an apprenticeship at his law firm.
10. Give your entire body a quick spray with Garnier's StayStrong Everest HairSpritz, for Men
11. Listen to your intuition and then just see if Bill can give you a ride.
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