Are your face pores enormous? Do others become disengaged in KOMversation because they just can't stop looking at these KOMbersume kavities?
I have a solution for you!
Once your face starts to go south due to the mounting stress of your upcoming expiration date, coupled with bad hygiene habits, you'll need this – trust me!
1. Peel off the top layer of slimy scoby off the living, breathing organism that keeps the gallon jar atop your fridge blissed out and keeps your taste-buds somewhat satisfied (unless you do it wrong or hate drinking vinegar's more popular little sister.)
2. Cut holes for your mouth and nose to go into – so you can breathe.
3. Put it on your face until you start hyperventilating, til the phone rings or you have to get on a Skype video chat, or until you feel like the first few layers of your skin have effectively been burned off by this acidic, magnificent vessel of Better Beauty™.
I have a solution for you!
Once your face starts to go south due to the mounting stress of your upcoming expiration date, coupled with bad hygiene habits, you'll need this – trust me!
1. Peel off the top layer of slimy scoby off the living, breathing organism that keeps the gallon jar atop your fridge blissed out and keeps your taste-buds somewhat satisfied (unless you do it wrong or hate drinking vinegar's more popular little sister.)
2. Cut holes for your mouth and nose to go into – so you can breathe.
3. Put it on your face until you start hyperventilating, til the phone rings or you have to get on a Skype video chat, or until you feel like the first few layers of your skin have effectively been burned off by this acidic, magnificent vessel of Better Beauty™.
Image plagiarized from kvorganics.com
This could be you any minute if you've already got a brew going! If you don't, go ahead and start your brew and you will be ready for this in about 14-20 days.
IMPORTANT: If you don't have a layer of scoby that can cover your entire face, you either need to find a wider mouthed jar, or just find a doctor that can help smooth out and soften the jagged lines of your face... You know what... better yet, find a doctor that can help reshape your skull completely, to the shape of a circle that will conform completely to the shape of your scoby. (Most people use a wide-mouth gallon jar like shown below. Put your good driving hand to use and measure your jar twice, then get this procedure done only once.)
This could be you any minute if you've already got a brew going! If you don't, go ahead and start your brew and you will be ready for this in about 14-20 days.
IMPORTANT: If you don't have a layer of scoby that can cover your entire face, you either need to find a wider mouthed jar, or just find a doctor that can help smooth out and soften the jagged lines of your face... You know what... better yet, find a doctor that can help reshape your skull completely, to the shape of a circle that will conform completely to the shape of your scoby. (Most people use a wide-mouth gallon jar like shown below. Put your good driving hand to use and measure your jar twice, then get this procedure done only once.)
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